WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
