watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize