READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
