apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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