good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
