Small penises have feelings too.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
