He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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