Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
