She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and she was petting her beer can
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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