wakey wakey hands off snakey
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize