I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
