Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
