I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
