I met the friendliest cop last night
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
