hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
