Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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