im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
