His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
