he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
