His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
