considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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