Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
