"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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