Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
