i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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