How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize