How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
