so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
