so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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