Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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