"it" just moved
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize