I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
