and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize