so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
