just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize