Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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