am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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