Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
