Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky š
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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