Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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