So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
