fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
