I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
