Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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