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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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