how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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