OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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