Will you blow on my dice?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
