There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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