It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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