He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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