wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
