i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
