I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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