The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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