Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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