I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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