they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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