No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
