Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
